BEING ME


I swear to you, being me has never been easy. I live the kind of a life where dilemma is part of my schedule and giving up is my the easiest option. I don’t know freedom, I don’t know luck, I don’t know fun… All I know is hard work, sacrifice, pain, disappointments, struggle,  heartbreaks, patience, perseverance and above ’em all I know that am a blessed chap.
For a couple of times I’ve lost hope and  dismissed a lot of suicidal thoughts. I’ve fought fights within me, shed tears, I’ve been broken but I’ve learnt to reconstruct myself. I know am strong and that’s why am where I am, I have weaknesses and so am not perfect, but am real. I know there is a victor in me, and I always strive to bring him out all the time, that’s why I always smile and say ‘it’s OK, don’t worry I got it!’ .
I walk around while I bounce, looking fresh and composed and no one sees the struggle within me, the pain and sometimes the stress. Sometimes I receive compliments and criticism, love and hate in equal measures, sometimes people develop a misconceived judgement that am a spoilt rich kid who grew up in a wealthy family but once i tell them my story it becomes too hard for them to believe, but to those that know me from way back have an idea of who i am, what I’ve been through and what I’ve turned out to be due to my undying fighting spirit, and sometimes some guys I’ve been looking up to reminds me of how I inspire and challenge them(and I ain’t bragging though).
I grew up in humble background, poor one to be precise, and I grew up in an environment where I was meant to fail but I refused! I wrote my dreams in capital letters and made a choice to make it happen no matter what it’ll cost me. Now I got kids who look up to me and that’s one of the reasons why I can’t back down now no matter how rough or slippery the road gets. I wanna live to inspire and give the support that I rarely got.
It’s really hard being me in a world where everything forces me to be fake. Faking is damn expensive and i can’t really afford it…i love being me, it’s really interesting and frustrating at the same time.  I’mma be me and i swear to you if I’d one day wake up to find myself being someone else, i would die to be myself once more even though being me ain’t that easy.